How do two people who have vowed to love each other get to the point where they refuse to talk for hours—or even days? ‘At least we stopped fighting,’ they tell themselves. Still, the issue has not been resolved, and they both feel uncomfortable.
You and your partner have just had a disagreement. ‘I don’t need to apologize,’ you tell yourself. ‘I'm not the one that started it!’
You release the issue, but the tension lingers. You reconsider apologizing, but you can’t bring yourself to utter those simple words “I’m sorry.”
The husband says “At times it’s difficult to say ‘I'm sorry’ because my ego catches in the way,”
The wife says “When I know I'm a 100% percent at fault, it’s comfortable to say ‘I'm sorry.’ But when we both said things we regret, it’s hard. I mean, why should I apologize if both of us bitched up?”
The above marriage shows signs of disregard. Over the years, it has weathered many storms, not all of them successfully. Now the structure is fragile, and the collapse of the house seems imminent.
Have you ever felt that your own marriage may be heading in the same direction? If so, be assured that no couple is immune to problems.
Underscoring the truthfulness of those words, one team of researchers describe marriage as “the most risky undertaking routinely taken on by the greatest number of people in our society.” They add: “What starts out as a relationship of great joy and promise can become the most frustrating and painful endeavour in a person’s lifetime.”
What about your own marriage? Is it characterized by one or more of the following traits?
In some lands, divorce rates have skyrocketed. Consider the United States, where for many years divorce was relatively uncommon. After 1960, writes Barbara Dafoe Whitehead in her book The Divorce Culture, “the rate accelerated at a dazzling pace.” She states: “It doubled in roughly a decade and continued its upward climb until the early 1980s, when it stabilized at the highest level among advanced Western societies. As a consequence of this sharp and sustained rise, divorce moved from the margins to the mainstream of American life in the space of three decades.”
If your marriage seems fragile and its collapse seems imminent, what should you do? Is divorce the answer? This book will provide the fundamental strategy in rebuilding your marriage instead of going through the corridors of unhappy matrimony. Remember, unhappy marriage give birth to depressed children.