Addicted to Death Restored to Life: The Story of My Life and How the War Waged Against My Soul was Defeated

It started a long time ago. It was meant for evil but God made it for my good. From a child I had no idea what it meant to live a happy, normal life. My mom was a teen when she had me therefore I did not know how to be a mom to my little girl either. Her struggles were passed on to me and mines to my children. I had no idea about how living in the depts of South Central Los Angeles would be the hardest thing that I would ever had to face and that a lot of what happened there would be with me for the rest of my life. From one extreme to the next, I moved through life hopelessly consumed with pain, grief, guilt and shame. It wasn't until I met God is when it changed but before that; this is how I lived in my shell and my demoralizing soul. I know now that there is nothing that I cannot do. I can get through anything. This story is a difficult one to tell but I know that my life is saved because of it. I know that you will be moved with joy as you celebrate the victories and the triumphs in my life after all that I endured seeking and searching for myself in all of it. "I was 9 months pregnant and up for 4-days without sleep and little food. All I wanted to do was get high because I didn't want to feel anything. I got up to walk to my grandma's house but while on the way I could feel fluid gushing down my legs. Someone gave me a towel to hold it until the ambulance came. I proceeded to walk down the street. I thought if I got a hit; it would make it better. It was my due date and my son's first day on earth was a struggle for survival for him. I remember thinking, "If there is a God, why did he make me? That, he sure was getting a kick out of watching me suffer." It started off all bad. I despised my very existence for as long as I could remember. Since the beginning I lived in sadness and sorrow and I believed no one could ever truly love me. Why was I here? Why? Would my life ever amount to anything? Would this precious innocent life have a fighting chance? If God was there for us we both needed HIM and we needed HIM now." To all those whose lives have been impacted by COVID19, I pray you are taking care of yourselves and that your communities are getting stronger than ever together.