Getting Rid of Matthew is the brilliantly witty novel from Jane Fallon.
What to do if Matthew, your secret lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife, Sophie, and their two daughters and move into your flat, just when you're thinking that you might not want him anymore . . .
PLAN A: Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini line. Tell him you have a moustache that you wax every six weeks. Stop having sex with him. Pick holes in the way he dresses. Don't brush your teeth. Or your hair. Or pluck out the stray hag-whisker that grows out of your chin. Buy incontinence pads and leave them lying around.
PLAN B: Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife Sophie. Give yourself a fake name and identity. Befriend Sophie. Actually begin to really like Sophie. Snog Matthew's son (who's the same age as you by the way. You're not a paedophile). Buy a cat and give it a fake name and identity. Befriend Matthew's children. Unsuccessfully. Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong.
Getting Rid of Matthew is the sharp and hilariously funny novel from Jane Fallon. It was also a Richard and Judy pick.
Praise for Jane Fallon:
'Intelligent, edgy and witty' Glamour
'A brilliant and original tale' Sun
'Chick lit with an edge' Guardian
Jane Fallon is the multi-award-winning television producer behind shows such as This Life, Teachers and 20 Things to Do Before You're 30. Her novels are Getting Rid of Matthew, Foursome, Got You Back and The Ugly Sister.
Jane's new novel, Skeletons, will be published by Penguin in March 2014.