The Left Frame of Mind: An Inquiry into the Nature of the Leftist Brain

Do you have a healthy mental attitude and a positive outlook on life? Good for you. This means you are in the right frame of mind. If you don't, you're in the left frame of mind. This is of course the wrong frame of mind. This means you have a Leftist Brain. Sorry to hear that but life isn't fair. At least you're not alone. Anything but. Leftist brains are everywhere. They can be found throughout all historical periods and in all spheres of everyday life. And they always misfire the same way: They run on good intentions that go bad. There is, for example, no fundamental difference between a Soviet communist Leftist Brain and a Wisconsin Democrat Leftist Brain. It is merely a matter of degree. You see, all leftist brains are endowed with certain inalienable qualities. They all share the following three characteristics: The belief that COLLECTIVISM is preferable to individualism. The Leftist Brain strives for parental government that promotes childlike dependency. It expects the State to regulate everything from daycare to retirement. It does not care that such cradle-to-grave infantilization undermines individual autonomy as long as it is being done in the name of "equality," a wonderful sounding ideal that does not exist in Nature. The conviction that COERCION is preferable to voluntary cooperation. The Leftist Brain wants a world in which all submit to a strict regime of conformity. It has no confidence in the spontaneous order created through mutual agreement. It is vexed by the thought of unrestricted individuals deciding things for themselves. They might not have "the greater good" in mind. It is convinced that the ends justify the means so it only respects the rule of law when it is "interpreted" in the way it deems fit. SENSE OF MISSION overrides common sense. The Leftist Brain sees itself as one of the chosen "on the right side of history." It feels superior to ordinary brains that can never enjoy its higher, enlightened status. This delusion serves the psychological function of bolstering what is typically the weak self-esteem of a brain that is ungrateful, ungenerous, immature and unhappy. Its feigned altruism hides its lack of true empathy and reveals pronounced narcissist tendencies. Unchecked, these tendencies lead to full-blown nihilism. This is why a Leftist Brain is so easy to trigger and so eager to resort to violence. Sadly, it is precisely these three characteristics of Leftist Brain brainness that have led our society to where it is today. Like it or not, we live in a Leftist Brain world. It is a world very far removed from the one the framers of the Constitution originally intended. Instead of enjoying individual freedom in a system that protects our liberties through the exercise of limited negative rights (don't do this, don't do that), the Leftist Brain's endless quest for equality guarantees ever growing government coercion through the exercise of unlimited positive rights (do this, do that). We must do as we are told, in other words. We have become indentured servants of the State. The following is a collection of observations about the nature of the Leftist Brain. Most are meant to be humorous, although some might seem to be more biting, bitter and cynical than laugh-out-loud funny. This is only because they are more biting, bitter and cynical than laugh-out-loud funny. I hope you will enjoy them anyway. PS: Each chapter will also offer a short quiz at the end. No one, to my knowledge, has ever managed to pass one.