When Helping Hurts_ Drawing the Line on Money in Love.

di samire lhor (Autore)

samire lhor, 2025

When Helping Hurts: Drawing the Line on Money in Love is a practical blueprint for giving without getting drained—teaching how to spot coercion, set clean financial boundaries, and offer time-bound, goal-linked support that protects dignity and the relationship. When living costs surge and "bailout culture" is normalized, compassionate people can slide from helping to enabling without noticing. This book shows exactly where the line is—and how to hold it without guilt or blowups. What readers get inside: A simple test to tell support from enabling, with everyday scenarios like rent shortfalls, debt rescues, "emergency" travel, and subscription creep. A discreet, safety-first checkpoint for economic abuse and coercive control, with a quiet-planning appendix and resource pathways when protection comes before planning. The Consent Threshold rule to prevent drift: any transfer above X triggers a conversation, documentation, and a shared plan. Account structures that preserve autonomy—separate, joint, and hybrid setups—plus phased transitions, audits, and clear rules that end money fog. The Six-Step Support Protocol to turn a request into a plan: clarify need, diagnose crisis vs. pattern, link aid to milestones, cap amount and duration, choose cash vs. in-kind, and set review and exit criteria. "Caps, clocks, and conditions" to make help finite, fair, and motivating—no cliff-edge cutoffs, no open-ended IOUs. In-kind alternatives that reduce risk without shaming: direct-to-bill rent, utilities, groceries, transport, and tailored approaches for addiction, untreated mental health, and high-risk debt cycles. Ready-to-use scripts for hard moments: the Boundaried Yes, the Compassionate No, the Pause for Plan, plus repair language after a breach. A 45-minute Monthly Money Meeting with agenda, cadence, and a simple dashboard to track obligations met, support used, and milestones hit. Guidance for family and friends: stopping triangulation, using a shared gift/aid fund, and saying no to urgency and leveraged guilt without torching relationships. A recovery path if enabling happened: taper vs. reset, trust repair, and a solvency rebuild plan covering emergency fund, debt, and retirement catch-up. Legal and digital hygiene essentials: documentation do's and don'ts, promissory notes, co-signing red flags, credit protection, passwords, two-factor, and account visibility. How this book works: Each chapter ends with a one-page summary, two reflections, a 10-minute action, and one conversation script—so progress happens the same day reading happens. In crisis? Jump straight to Chapter 3, Chapter 7, and the Safety Pack, then circle back for the full method. In a chronic pattern? Start with Chapters 2 and 4–9, then consolidate with 13–15. Open the first pages to watch one couple face the same financial crossroads twice—once drifting into dependency, once using structure to protect love—and learn the method that makes the second outcome repeatable. If the goal is generosity without self-sacrifice, this book provides the line, the language, and the tools to stand there together. Implement the first Money Meeting and Consent Threshold this week, run the Six-Step Protocol on the next request, and feel the difference that clarity makes in peace, trust, and long-term care.

• Autore: samire lhor
• Editore: samire lhor
• Formato: EPUB2 con DRMFREE
• Lingua: Inglese
• Cloud: Sì Scopri di più
• Compatibilità: Tutti i dispositivi (eccetto Kindle)
• Layout: Reflowable
• EAN: 9798232907754