A ribald tale from Britain's best-love Science Fiction writer. The Cretan Teat is a bawdy novel, telling the extraordinary tale a Byzantine painting of the Virgin Mary breastfeeding the infant Jesus. This false icon gets adopted by the people - and so becomes instrumental in the downfall of mankind. This is a story where the narrator - the author - is regularly caught with his trousers down. It is at once funny and important, a post-modern text reminiscent of Pirandello, where sexcapades brush shoulders with the end of the world.